Hello!
Native English speakers don't always agree about grammar! Does that surprise you?
What about in your own language? Do people ever argue about what’s grammatically correct or acceptable? I’m guessing you probably answered “yes”. Well, the same is true for English.
My dad and I often disagree! For example, he thinks that we should say “He’s taller than I.” I think it’s more natural and more modern to say “He’s taller than me.”
Another example. We often use “may” and “might” interchangeably these days to talk about possibility. I think this is fine but Dad thinks it’s a mistake. I can’t even explain his opinion to you because I don’t quite understand it! To me, “I might come to the party” and “I may come to the party” are the same! Well, perhaps the first one is just slightly less likely than the second but they’re so close that any difference is unimportant!
As an English teacher, I find that learners often want to know exactly what’s right and wrong. They want everything to be black and white and they’re not comfortable with grey areas.
(“Black and white” = it’s clearly right or wrong.
“Grey areas” = when there isn’t a clear right or wrong answer.)
I’ve told you these two stories about my dad and me to show you how things are not always black and white. There isn’t always a simple yes or no answer.
I often tell my learners that one thing is more common or more natural than the other. But “more common” or “more natural” doesn’t always mean the alternative is wrong.
I had a conversation with another native-speaker teacher a while ago about “having lunch” vs “eating lunch”. This teacher said “eating lunch” was a mistake. I don’t agree. “Having lunch” might be more common but they are both correct English.
Another example. I think it’s OK to say “who” instead of “whom” in the 21st century but some people think we should always use “whom” to talk about the object of the verb.
(If you’d like to read more about “who” and “whom”, have a look at this LinkedIn post or this Substack post.)
So why do people disagree about English so often? Why isn’t grammar black and white, right or wrong?
I can think of two reasons. The first reason is that some people (like my dad) focus more on what the grammar books say (or even on what the grammar books said 60 years ago!) whereas other people focus more on what people say in real conversation.
My approach is somewhere in between. When I’m teaching, I tell my students what the grammar books say and also what most people actually say. Then I let them decide for themselves which they prefer.
The second reason is that languages change all the time. This means that older people are likely to disagree with younger people. Just as Dad disagrees with me, I sometimes disagree with people younger than me!
Here are a couple of recent changes to English which I don’t like. I always say “fewer” for uncountable nouns but most people say “less” these days. I’ve also noticed that lots of people say “there’s” instead of “there are” for plurals. But I know I have to accept that English is always changing!
By the way, some countries have an organisation which decides what’s acceptable or standard in their language. There’s no organisation like this for the English language.
So here are the things I would like you to remember from today’s email:
There isn’t always a right and a wrong answer.
You need to learn to get comfortable with the grey areas.
All languages change over time.
See you next week,
Katie 💙
PS Ladies, if you’d like to hear more from me, join my newsletter “Confident English for Professional Women” and get:
⭐ weekly support and encouragement
⭐ practical tips for improving your English
⭐ confidence-boosting advice
Great Article! I would say, that one important thing to always remember is that our spoken language is totally alive!
Talking from a brazillian portuguese native speaker point of view. We cleary can see very distinct forms to say the exact same thing like the exchange between "-r-" and "-rr-", the natural abillity to be able to say a word like: "caRRoça" depends very much from their naturally (people that comes from a germany origin tends to not be able to speak that double "r"). So, the question that are very questionable in the academy field is, are these types of forms to speak are really WRONG? We are acttually saying that all these 100 million more people speak all wrong 'cause they don't follow the grammar?
And to question, are the actual former grammar the right way to speak?
The important thing is to remember the bases that molds the communications paramaters. The context is key to be able to undarstand what maybe be true.
A judge maybe be entrusted to be able to speak and write the former portuguese.
In another hand two neighboors talking with eachother maybe not be the most right way to speak. Looking to these diferentes contexts It's clear that even the former grammar in most situations are not the exact right way to communicate (at least in a social perspective if exists any other way to look to these aspects).
Anywhay, hope to be able to contribute with some perspective outside of the english scope!